The LIfe of Mom

        The Mom life is not always an easy road or journey to be on and yet it has so many rewards along the way. From the very moment when you find out your pregant and for the rest of your life you will always be going through different stages and development with your children which is a wonderful amazing reward in itself. I have felt heartbreak, pain, sadiness and happines along with pure Joy. I have my first born child my baby girl she was my first miracle child. I didnt think that I could ever have children I just thought that being a mother was not in the plans that God had for me and my life. As I was learning and begining to accept that fact I was still praying to God he would bless me to be a mother I vowed and promised I would train my daughter in his ways do my best to teach her about God. She would be his because he first knew her she was his before she was mine to raise love cherish her. Then surpize 6 years later here comes my son I was not expecting to be able to have another baby even though I had prayed for my son. I asked God and Prayed for a little boy. I was never suppose to have children and I know have two children, My son is now 6 years old about to turn 7 and my daughter is 12 about to turn 13. My son just started school last year while my daughter just started middle school last year. Now my daughter is in the 7th grade while my son is in the 1st grade. 

        This is for all my mamas out there you got this yes mother hood is frusrating when your kids dont want to listen to you. You told your little toddler no they cant have something that they want and they throw that big tantrum in the middle of the store or at check out your frustrated and so embrassed. Just rememeber to give yourself grace and mercy you are doing the best you can. When you sweet child decides she or he wants to grab a candy bar off that checkout shelf and start eatring that darn candy bar and your on a tight budget just to buy groceries and all your houshold items. I know at those specific times and moments you are stressed and worried about how you are gonna make it make ends meet how you are gonna stretch your last dollar down to the last penny. Mama try your best to jsut cherish those little moments take time to laugh have joy and peace in your life. Those are the memories that will last a lifetime in your mind as they grow up and get bigger they are no longer that little sweet child you remember what seamed like it was not so long ago. 

        When it comes to choosing how you want your birthing experiance for all my new mamas and curent pregant mamas please take my advice dont let any one tell you how you should have your birhting experiance or where. If you can choose how you want to have your birthing experiance that is the best advice I can give to you. I really do regret not having the birthing experiance I really wanted to have that was having a water birth. I wanted to do the whole natural birth and a water birth. I let other people tell me no I of course listened I didnt do my whole birthing expericance completely the way I wanted them. However I did get to have an all natural birth without any pain medications of any medicail inventions like a C-section. I was blessed however with my daughter I was fully dilated my water did not break the nurses kept telling me not to push I of course tried not to pushe when I felt the urge to push this was my first child my first child birthing experiance. They of course had to break my water with my daughter then I started to able to push her out. My whole experiance from my first contraction to giving birth I had my daughter in two hours of gettting to the hosptial. My son I had him within an hour of getting to the hospital I really wanted to have pain medication for the pain it was so painful but I was too far in my labor and dialted. This time when I had the urge to push to push I pushed I didnt let my nursint stuff or any body else tell me different this is my baby this is my body I knew when I needed to push or not I had my son within an hour of getting to the hospital. I know my birthing experiance how long it took me to have both my children is rare most women have a long labor and delivery time. I heard of so many stories of women being in labor for 3 days still have not dilated enouigh the had to do C Section for the safety of the baby and the mother. I also hear of horriable storys that some mothers they had to emergcncey C Section because the babys heart rate started to go down and the unbilical cord was wrapped around their babys necks. I heard of other horrible birthing stories when the mother was giving birth the baby died in the middel of givign birth she still had to push the baby out give the baby a name fill out a birth certificate and death certificate. I remeber watching one mama and her story she had twins she was so happy so was her family husband. She went to the hosptial like normal gave birht to her twins like normal they were prematur like most twins are from my understanding. This mama I watched her have to say good bye to one baby within the week then the second week she had to say goodbye to her second bye she gave birth to two babys then she had to say goodbye to both of them. Then she was worried about how she and her husband were gonna tell their other children that there little babys sibylings werer not gonna be coming home they are in heaven. 

         I am so thankful God didnt allow me to go through that pain of giving me a blessing of a child or two children then just to take them away from me. So to all my mamas out there who have experianced that kind of pain your not alone. My heart goes out to you all you are not forgotten. Your babys are not forgotten. For all my mamas out there who have experiance misscarrigages your are also not forgotten for we have love and lost went through our own pain. I know that experiance of a misscarriage is painful, the loss and the grief is all too real. People just expect you to move on and forget live your life. Everyday in the back of my mind I am always wondreing if my baby survived that I lost at four months in my pregancey what he or she would look like. What would her or his personality be like. Would he or she have look more like me or daddy. Would he or she have more of my charteristics and perosnality or daddys. I have misscarried 3 trimes in my life time the third misscarriage I had really hit home fo rme I really griefed hard the loss of that baby. I do wonder about my first two I misscarried. I am all so gratful for my two children I carried to full term healthy babys and gave brith to them they are still here with me. I am so very thankful they are my whole world. If you ever suffered the loss of a child no matter the circumstances your not alone in your grief and loss of child. My heart goes out to you I pray for you and your family to have peace, joy and happiness agian in your life.